Official Song
The DWT Farm Anthem
Performed by the Ducks Choir (auditions were not optional)
Written one afternoon by a farmhand who had clearly been out in the sun too long, and now legally required to play at every farm event. Contains three key changes and one extended kazoo solo.
Meet the Ducks
The team keeping the pond running
Ferdinand
Head of Security
Patrols the pond perimeter and honks at anything that isn't a fox. Extremely serious about his job.
Dilly Jr.
Head of Egg Production
Oversees daily output with an iron beak and a strict quota. Takes great pride in never missing a deadline, unlike certain other ducks.
Duck Norris
Chief Napping Consultant
An expert in finding the sunniest spot on the farm. Available for consultations most afternoons.
Stumps
Director of Snack Quality Control
Personally taste-tests every bug that lands on the water. Rarely finds one unsatisfactory.
Mary-Kate
Egg Production Intern
Handles the morning shift with unwavering focus. Can tell her eggs apart from her sister's at a glance, though she won't explain how.
Ashley
Egg Production Intern
Covers the afternoon shift and insists her nest is tidier than Mary-Kate's. The rivalry has yet to be settled.
What We Do Here
DWT Farm is a proud, mostly-legal operation specializing in four things nobody asked us to combine. We are not a normal farm. We have made peace with this.
Ducks
Quality quackers, ethically sourced opinions
Our ducks handle security, morale, and allegedly the bookkeeping. We have chosen not to look too closely at the ledgers.
Worms
Dirt cheap, and proud of it
Millions of worms working tirelessly underground so your soil doesn't have to. Unionization talks are, we're told, ongoing.
Tobacco
Grown with love, smoked with regret
A small patch we tend mostly out of stubbornness and a great-great-grandfather's dying wish. Please consult a doctor, then maybe consult him too.
Donkey Milk
Rare, weird, allegedly good for your skin
Squeezed from donkeys who did not consent to this marketing copy. Cleopatra reportedly loved it, so who are we to argue with a queen.
Not all products are available in all seasons, or at all, depending on the ducks' mood.